Final Words

This will be the final entry for Roscoe's story. It will serve as a summary of all of the information that you'll find here, if you choose to read through it. You may have reached this blog for any of the following reasons:

• Your child is / will be premature and you are investigating what can happen as a result
• You are considering an abortion and searched for pictures and videos of small babies
• Your child has one of the conditions that my son struggled with (IUGR, PDA, tethered cord, pyloric stenosis, hypospadias, pulmonary hypertension, chronic lung disease / BPD, pulmonary vein stenosis)
• You are searching for one of the medications that my son was receiving

For whatever reason you find yourself here, my hope is that those who stumble across this blog will be encouraged to read the complete story of my son and how his short life positively impacted people's spiritual outlook. As Roscoe's story unfolded, word about God's work in his life spread through friends and acquaintances to people around the world. Many people (including myself) have wondered why this all happened, and honestly I don't know. Perhaps God intended for you to read the story of my son and learn something that would make you live closer to God's own son.

If Roscoe's story has an impact on you, please email me (SWACKERL@GMAIL.COM) or post your thoughts on the Roscoe's Legacy page. Each time someone shares about my son, it prolongs his life just a little bit in my own mind.

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In mid-2013 my wife, Alisha, and I went in for a 20-week ultrasound, where they identified my son as having IUGR and therefore being half the size (186g) he should have been. Based upon post-birth analysis of my wife's placenta, IUGR occurred because blood clots disabled 10-15% of the placenta, but there were possible other factors as well. We were scheduled for follow-up ultrasounds at 22, 23, 25, and 26 weeks (you can see his growth each week here). At the 26-week appointment, the doctor informed Alisha that she was having contractions, which had been occurring for several weeks and were now rather strong. Alisha was admitted to the hospital, stabilized, and monitored in the hospital for 3 weeks until she developed pre-eclampsia. My son Roscoe was born by C-section at 28.5 weeks with a weight of 530g (1lb 2.7oz). He was barely longer than a #2 pencil. A summary of those first months can be found here.

During each of the ultrasounds (a total of 6 including one in the hospital) they identified our son as being a girl, due to hypospadias, so for the first 2 weeks of his life we called him "Dottie". He was even registered legally as a female. However, genetic testing showed that he had male chromosomes and produced testosterone, so we changed his legal gender and name to "Roscoe".

Roscoe's life was plagued with a high heart rate, limited growth, and breathing struggles. Doctors discovered a heart murmur caused by PDA, which thankfully closed on its own without the need for surgery. He was kept in an incubator because he didn't have enough body fat to maintain his temperature. His breathing support consisted of a ventilator, high-frequency ventilator, and bubble CPAP. Later on, he progressed to a vapotherm and then nasal cannula while they tracked his CO2 numbers with blood tests. He had a feeding tube for most of his life so that they could supplement what he ate by mouth.

Roscoe was transported from Kaiser Roseville to UCSF to investigate a possible narrowing of the vessels between his lungs and heart. UCSF performed a cardiac catheterization to investigate Roscoe's narrowed pulmonary vessels and identify possible treatments. Roscoe had a dangerous combination of chronic lung disease and pulmonary vein stenosis, both of which caused backpressure on his heart called pulmonary hypertension. UCSF started Roscoe on bosentan and transported him back to Kaiser Roseville, where his pyloric stenosis was surgically repaired.

We spent one night at the hospital with Roscoe in our room when he was almost 6 months old in anticipation of taking him home. Sadly, his bosentan medication needed additional approval before that could happen and he never came home. We had his room prepared and were heartbroken. At the point he was ready to come home, he'd gotten down to 100mL/minute of oxygen through a nasal cannula but his CO2 number was still near 70. In attempts to lower his CO2 (which causes vessels to constrict), his breathing support was increased back to vapotherm and then bubble CPAP over the next 2 months.

Since Roscoe would be on long-term breathing support and needed additional nutrition, they performed a tracheostomy and gastrostomy. He contracted a cold around the same time as the surgeries, which sent him into a downward spiral that very nearly ended his life. These episodes agitated his pulmonary hypertension, so Roscoe was transported once again (this time by a midnight helicopter ride) to UCSF. My wife Alisha and I relocated to San Francisco for a month at the Ronald McDonald house. During this time of ups and downs, Roscoe had two cardiac catheterizations (one exploratory, one for stenting) and prepared for heart surgery to repair his narrowed pulmonary veins. Roscoe passed away peacefully due to a brain hemmorhage before the surgery ever occurred.

A previously unpublished video from his last day

We encourage you to read Roscoe's story in its entirety, but here are some of our favorite pictures:

Throughout the remainder of his story you'll find plenty of pictures, videos and spiritual insights from a dad who prayed like never before to save the life of his son. I wrote a blog entry nearly every day of Roscoe's life, so the entirety of his journey here on earth is captured on this blog. I encourage you to read, reflect, and enjoy my wonderful son with a view that centers on the beauty and complexity of God's creation and how he responds to prayer.

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;

blessed be the name of the LORD"

- Job 1:21